Ninjas need a bailout.

It is a tough economic time for many of us. If not all of us. In some way it seems all of us are feeling the pinch. We try and save pennies everywhere we go. The grocery store, cutting down on daily coffee shop trips, or perhaps even refraining from doing some of the things we do to ease our minds, like a drive to the mountains, the coast or the near by man made pond. It seems even with lower gas prices, it is still expensive to get in your car. Unfortunately, it has been said that the economic conditions look to get worse before they get better. It seems that if you aren't effected yet, you will be soon. Even those who have had it easy for years. Even those who we think are unstoppable. Nobody is safe. Literally. 

I say this because right now I feel afraid. I feel that I might not be safe. Not from these economic pressures but because there are some people who are. Figures I look to. For safety. For entertainment. Ninjas can not flee even this fear. Ninjas aren't safe. If they can't protect me. Who can?

The ninja has weaknesses. Behind their protected identity, cat like reflexes and abilities to stay completely covered in black even during hot summer days, these secret assassins have vulnerabilities. They bought on credit. Times where good. Escalades. Three story houses with indoor oversized Ninja McPlaygrounds. They wanted it all. But now the bank wants it back. You can't run from creditors. 

Many have had problems in the past and it seems even our strongest, quickest and most stealth of heros can not out maneuver the closing of the financial walls. 

The hero who carried our nation on his back in the fight against outlaws and red belts. Our protector. The American Ninja. In 1985 he couldn't be stopped. He took on countless numbers of trained killers who practiced their skills at nearby NFL combines and training facilities. He flourished during the good times. His fight for years. Battling similar groups in similar titled movies. Where is he now? 

Calls from creditors? No. Rather issues with the law. The Karate Kid. He defeated the Cobra Kai. He made out in a shower costume. Unfortunately it hasn't lasted. Years later he was stopped in rural Alabama accused of a robbery turned homicide. Mediocre representation and only due to a fellow celebrity's knowledge of late model cars, the charges were dropped. Positraction saved him but who will save you? 

Who suffers more? Muscles from Brussels. The high of highs and suffering the low of lows this is that man. JCVD. The legend. Yet far from. Tears role over this man's aged yet still chiseled physique. Family issues and greater competition within the ninja industry, some with longer, darker ponytails. This hero is at sometimes brought to his knees by the pressures of life. Doing the splits is purely for fun. Nobody will pay for it any longer. Where does one look for help if we all look to you?

Quickness, agility, clothes that blend with darkness. Nothing can keep you safe. Nothing can keep them safe. We need help. They need help. If the pressures of this continued financial spiral fall further into the red I fear our safety is in jeopardy. Bipartisan agreements are needed to stimulate the economy. We need to come together for matters of our safety. We lose ninjas daily. To grocery stores. Bagging and checker ninjas. Pubs and Taverns. Bar-tending ninjas. Pizza restaurants. Pizza delivery ninjas. Mail transport. Bicycle delivery ninjas. 

We can't afford to lose any more!